I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at
with a mouthful of forevers. We
have both known loss like the sharp edges
of a knife. We have both lived with lips
more scar tissue than skin. Our love came
unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we’d given up
on asking love to come. I think
that has to be part
of its miracle.
This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You
will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms
will bandage and we will press promises
between us like flowers in a book.
I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat
on your skin. I will write novels to the scar
of your nose. I will write a dictionary
of all the words I have used trying
to describe the way it feels to have finally,
finally found you.
And I will not be afraid
of your scars.
I know sometimes
it’s still hard to let me see you
in all your cracked perfection,
but please know:
whether it’s the days you burn
more brilliant than the sun
or the nights you collapse into my lap
your body broken into a thousand questions,
you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.
Anonymous asked: maybe he will change for you? did you move out already? guys sometimes need something drastic to change. I'm sorry you hve to go through this. it's not fair for you. :(
I didn’t live with him. But I figured this would make or break us. We will see if me leaving is enough to make him change. And if not.. Then I shouldn’t be with him.
itshowistayalive asked: My mom was an alcoholic. I completely understand where you are coming from. At a point you have to take a step back and take care of yourself. As much as it sucks, you should be proud of yourself. I have so much respect for what you are doing.
Aww thanks love. It’s nice to know that someone understands. I’m sorry that you had to go through that and respect you for taking care of yourself first.
Anonymous asked: Does his drinking really effect YOU?
Yes it does. He drinks everyday. And about 3 times a week he drink to the point where he can’t even stand up straight. I have to drive everywhere because he’s always buzzed or drunk. He treats me like shit when he’s drinking and talks to me like I’m stupid. Living with an alcoholic is the hardest thing I’ve been through and no one will understand it until they’re in the situation themselves.
Anonymous asked: you broke up with your boyfriend because he likes to drink? isn't that kind of drastic?
He’s an alcoholic.
"There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t ’cause I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and you don’t have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever."
Anonymous asked: Why are you single? 😭
Because I’m not worth giving up drinking.
eerie-boy asked: I know this may sound weird for someone you don't know to say, but I think your body is stunning and I like your breasts the way they are.
Awww. Thanks love!! That means a lot. ❤😔
eatpussylivehappy asked: thank you for the pic! i love it :)
You’re very welcome sir. Thanks for posting it!!! ❤
Anonymous asked: Since you have your nipples pierces are they always hard now? or how does that work?
No they aren’t. I honestly thought they might be. But it’s the same as before. Except I can feel it now when they go from soft to hard lol.
"She’d never felt so terrible before. She ached. The worst part was she couldn’t discern the source of the pain- whether it was from something truly wrong with her or from the trauma of having her life shattered around her."
They say cowards run in the face of danger and pain.
I suppose that’s what I was, what I’d become, too fearful to love, too fearful to be loved, too afraid to live. So I ran."
"And lets face it, you did steal me. But you saved my life, too. And somewhere in the middle you showed me a place so different and beautiful, I can never get it out of my mind. And I can’t get you out of there, either. You’re stuck in my brain like my own blood vessels."